


I Don’t Know How

by Flowoftime



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 04:08:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16211087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flowoftime/pseuds/Flowoftime
Summary: She saw no remorse inside those raiders eyes. They knew what they were after and they took what they wanted. It was like they were no longer human, just property ready to fight for their war.





	I Don’t Know How

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: There’s graphic violence and mentions of rape at the end of this chapter, so skip ahead when you see the sentence, “Abel glanced to Violet behind her.”
> 
> Finding out episode two was probably gonna be the last episode really troubled me. So I wrote something, hope you enjoy.
> 
> The title was inspired by the song, “Neptune” by Sleeping At Last. I highly recommend listening to this artist, they make some good bops.

“We cut our losses! Fall back! Pull in and fall back!!”

She jolted awake. Her head pounding and heart racing fast in her chest. She tried looking around but she could only see bright flashing lights. She placed her hands on her chest and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths.

Pain was the first thing to come to mind. Other than the throbbing headache she was having, her right arm felt like it was on fire. It was definitely bruised. Clem tried to focus on her breathing as she felt her heart rate slowing down. At least it was just a bruise and nothing worse.

“...Clementine?” 

Clem slowly opened her eyes. Her vision began to clear up as she looked at an all too familiar face. It was Violet. Even with bloodshot eyes and her hair a mess, but Clem couldn’t help but think how beautiful she was.

“Oh thank god, you’re ok.” Violet pulled her into a deep hug. 

Clem’s eyes widened as she felt her arm being crushed by the hug. She groaned in pain, only to regret it instantly. As Violet let her go as soon as it came out of her mouth.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Violet said pulling her arms back. “I didn’t mean to— I forgot about your arm.”

Clementine winced, but she only focused only her. “It’s fine, I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure Clem? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Violet looked away from her face.

Clementine gently placed her hand on her chin, turning her face to kiss her on the lips. It took Violet a second to process what was happening before she returned the kiss. It was all so sudden, yet it was the most perfect thing she’s ever had. It’s been awhile since Violet felt this way.

They parted after awhile, Clementine was red in the face. She need to stop being so bold or it’ll kill her. She doesn’t know if she means figuratively or literally, she hopes it’s none of them.

“You never make me uncomfortable,” Clementine said. “Quite the opposite actually.”

“Yeah sure, try telling me that when you’re screaming in pain again.” Violet gave her the softest smile she’s ever seen in her life. “But that’s… good to know.”

Violet leaned in, stopping right before her face and, albeit a bit hesitant, pecked her on the lips. Clem blushed and buried her head in Violet’s shoulders. She felt blissful, despite what happened.

Then Ruby walked in. “Hey— oh, whoa,” She said. Violet Instinctively pulled back at the sudden noise. Clementine groaned when she touched her arm again, it definitely wasn’t bruised. It had to be worse if the slightest touch can hurt her. Clem swore to herself, why did she had to fuck things up everytime?

“I just— wow. That’s new,” Ruby said. “But don’t worry or anything, I’m really happy for you guys.”

Ruby gave them a small smile. The both of them looked at each before turning to Ruby again. “Thanks Ruby, we really appreciate that,” Clem gave her a soft smile.

Ruby’s smile slowly turned into a frown. “Willy and I checked up on Abel in the room in the admin hall. He’s a fighter, that bastard. Managed to scratch me good in the arm.”

“But we managed and… fuck this is so fucked up,” Ruby buried her head in her hands.

That night… Clementine could still see it if she closed her eyes. There was blood and screaming, it was a disgusting display of humanity. She remembered staring at the horrors of that night, the fire, the walkers, and the gunshots. It was too much. She saw no remorse inside those raiders eyes. They knew what they were after and they took what they wanted. It was like they were no longer human, just property ready to fight for their war. 

“I doesn’t matter, we can’t lose hope,” Violet stood. “We have to save Minerva.”

Clementine felt something cold run over her right when Violet said that name. Like a cold breeze flew by her. She shared a look with Ruby, who stared at her with concern. Clem looked at Violet, wincing in pain, but that pain didn’t come from her arm.

“You mean…,” Ruby started. “...Aasim, Louis and Willy too right?”

“Didn’t… didn’t I say that?” Violet glanced at Ruby.

Clementine looked away from her. “...You only said Minerva.”

Violet looked at her with wide eyes. “Clem, I-I..,” she continued. “That’s not—“

“Like you said, it doesn’t matter,” Clementine stood up. “We need to find them first before we can even think about going anywhere.”

“How are you gonna make him talk?” Ruby asked, not knowing if she wanted to know the answer.

Clem gave her a knowing glance, sending a shiver down Ruby’s spine. Violet stared at Clementine with disbelief in her eyes. She wouldn’t… would she? Abel is a bad person, Violet would bashed his skull in herself. But could Clementine really do worse than that?

“Holy shit… how are you gonna do that?” Violet asked. She keeps forgetting that Clementine has been through hell and back. She’s a hardened soldier, she had to be. People kill the ones who are weak, if the walkers didn’t get to you first. 

Clementine sighed. “...I have my ways.”

“At least let me patch you up first,” Ruby said. “The fall you had with Abel, it really did a number on you.”

Clem held her bruised arm in her hand. “...I was lucky to even have the strength to use the bow. My arm was killing me at that point,” She commented.

“Then you passed out after we buried Mitch…,” Ruby trailed off. “And you did the bulk of the digging too. Why didn’t you tell us anything?”

Clementine stayed quiet for awhile, calmly thinking over her thoughts. She hasn’t heard that phrase in while, not since she was back with Javi and Kenny and… Lee. Clementine held her bruised arm close to her. It was the same arm with the dog bite stitches, she could still remember that night as clear as day. She’s taken care of herself for along time, it’s how she survived.

Clementine took a breath. “I guess I’m not really use to people caring about me.”

The whole room fell quiet. “Clementine, that’s really sad,” Ruby said sitting down beside her. 

“Well my life’s pretty sad,” Clementine said holding out her arm. “I don’t want to dwell it, please help me patch myself up?”

Violet could only watch as Ruby helped patched Clementine up. She had no prior experience on taking care of people, emotionally or physically. Even when Minnie was around, she would be an emotionless dumb prick. 

But Clementine made her feel something. Maybe a bit too much at times. And god, does it scare her to lose her. 

She just hopes she doesn’t.

“...Clementine?” Violet started.

Clem looked at the ground. “Yeah?” She answered. 

“I… I need to go check on the others,” Violet stood up walked towards the office door, she took one last look at her and closed the door.

Clementine watched walk out of the doorway. Maybe she was overreacting. Of course Violet would still have lingering feelings for Minerva, she was her girlfriend who died for god’s sake. Clementine felt selfish, but should she worry? Violet liked her now, right?

“There, all done,” Ruby smiled to herself admiring her work. “Take a look for yourself!”

Clementine felt the bandages around her arm. It felt, better. At least she won’t be screaming every time she accidentally hit something with it. Or at least she’d have a nicer time kissing… if she could of course. 

“Thanks Ruby,” Clem smiled. “I appreciate it.”

“It’s… it’s not big deal really,” Ruby rested her arms on her lap. “It’s my job.”

Clementine furrowed her eyebrows. Ruby was acting, strange. Never had she saw her so, sad. Clementine could only guess what was wrong, last night was all kinds of it.

“Ruby?” Clementine asked. “Is everything… fine?”

“I-I,” Ruby began to tear up. “We lost so many people last night.”

Silently, Ruby began sobbing on the couch. Clementine couldn’t help but feel bad for her. She grew up with these people. She probably cares about everyone the most, considering she’s the school’s medic. Clementine could feel her chest grow heavy at the sight of Ruby breaking down. She didn’t deserve this, none of them do.

Clementine placed a hand on her shoulder. “I'm so sorry Ruby, I… I really tried to save us all but,” Clem steadied her breath. “It’s my fault.”

“Don’t you dare,” Ruby’s voice boomed. “You’ve help us so much already, I can’t thank you enough really.”

“Yet I couldn't do it,” Clem huffed. “But, I’m going to fix this, I promise you.”

Ruby frowned. “I just,” She sighed. “Wish I could’ve kissed Aasim that night.”

For some reason, the moment when Clementine kissed Violet for the first time played in her mind. The way she gently pressed her lips against hers underneath the pale moonlight, It was absolutely beautiful. Clem moved to touched her lips. She could still feel the cool night air around if she imagined it hard enough.

“Oh,” Clem said. “I— wow.”

Ruby chuckled to herself. “I know, crazy right?” She smiled. “But I couldn’t help it, he’s so sweet and handsome, and the way he bends down to—“

“Ok ok!” Clementine raised her good arm. “That’s enough! I understand Ruby.”

“What?” She giggled. “He has a pretty cute butt, don't ya think?”

“I don’t know if I’m allowed to,” Clem smiled. “I have a… you know.”

“You can say girlfriend Clem, don’t be shy,” Ruby said, looking expectedly at Clementine. “Go on, say it.”

The word rested on her tongue for a second. “...Girlfriend,” Clem said slowly, smiling to herself. “Oh my god I have a girlfriend.”

“See?” Ruby said. “Atta girl.”

“Fuck how this happen?” Clem laughed.

“You deserve it Clem,” Ruby said. “You really do.”

Clementine felt a sudden wave of sadness engulf her. Her smile slowly fading out as she crossed her arms. 

“Maybe.”

———

After awhile, Clementine and Ruby walked out of the admin hall. With Clementine still clutching her arm, she made her way down the step and into the courtyard. Ruby turned to Clementine with a smile on her face.

“That was a nice talk Clem,” She said. “Thanks I needed that.”

Clementine grinned back. “Sure, no problem!” 

Clem watched Ruby walk off to Willy, who was playing with Mitch’s carving knife. Clem frowned, she couldn’t imagine what it would be like if that was AJ and Clem fell into the hands of Lilly. She could only hope it wouldn’t be like that.

As if on cue, AJ ran over to her. “Clem!” AJ leaped into her arms. “You’re ok!”

“Careful AJ,” Clem winced. “My arm’s not feeling too hot right now.”

“Oh,” AJ said, swiftly climbing down. “I'm sorry.”

Clem clutched her arm and forced a smile. “It’s ok goofball,” Clem winced. “You didn’t hurt me.”

“Oh ok,” He smiled and then pouted. “And don't call me goofball.”

Clementine chuckled as she watched him run off. She was about to ask where he was going, when he returned shortly with a couple of flowers. She raised her eyebrows, where did he find those?

“You weren’t there when we were mourning Mitch,” he frowned. “Violet told me that flowers are good for mourning, so I saved some for you.”

Clementine felt herself tear up. She placed the flowers in her hand and sighed. “Thank you AJ,” She smiled. “Let’s go do that, yeah?”

Slowly, they made their way to Mitch’s grave. Clementine stopped in front of it, flowers in her hands. She took a deep breath, and placed the flowers. For awhile, she just stood above the grave, grieving in silence. Sure Mitch was terrible to her and AJ after… the incident, but he was justified in feeling so. He didn’t deserve to die. Definitely not like this.

“...Clem?” AJ looked at the ground. “Do you think Tenn was right? About going to a nice place after we die?”

Clementine thought for a moment. “I don’t know bud,” She said. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see right?”

AJ pursed his lips. “I think he is,” he said. “The world is already bad and scary, it’s nice to have something nice after you die. It’s like a reward!”

She looked at AJ with concern written in her eyes. “Maybe,” Clem said. 

The two of them stood in silence for a minute. Clementine contemplated telling him about Violet. She thought of maybe holding off, their relationship status is kinda undecided at this point and telling him would make things much more complicated. But, he does have the right to know, so he’s not surprised.

Clem sighed. Relationships are hard.

“Hey AJ,” Clem started. “What do you think of Violet?”

He stared at her. “She’s nice, I like her,” He smiled. “Why did you ask?”

“Well,” Clem hunched over. How to explain this to AJ? “What if I want to kiss her, and hold her hand?”

AJ made a face. “You mean like love?” He gagged. “That’s gross, why would you want to do that?”

Clem smiled. “Because…” she placed her hands on her lap. “It makes me happy.”

AJ sat beside her. “Well if it makes you happy, then I’m ok with it,” AJ smiled. “Even if it’s gross.”

“It’s the grossest,” Clem giggled. “Thanks AJ.”

Clementine stared at Mitch’s grave. Maybe if he was still here he would be appalled at the mere thought of Violet and Clementine dating. He would ask himself, how the fuck did that happen? Clem laughed to herself.

“Hope you’re blowing shit up in heaven big guy.” Clem smiled at the sky.

“Yeah! Blow shit up!” AJ repeated.

Clem took one last look at grave and stood up with AJ following her. “Come on AJ, we’ve got work to do.” 

Clem lead the both of them out of the graveyard and into the courtyard. She spotted Violet and Tenn on a picnic table, having a conversation. She felt her heart flutter at the sight of Violet, and she wasn’t even doing anything special. Clem could almost laugh at herself for being so… sappy.

But she had work to do. Abel had the answers she was looking for and she can’t waste time thinking about how beautiful Violet was. Clem berated herself for acting like a stupid kid. They have no time for that. She had to focus, or it might end in someone else getting killed.

AJ on the other hand, had other plans. “Clem?” AJ tugged on her jacket. “Can we go say hi to Tenn and Vi first?”

Clementine felt herself conflicted. They really shouldn’t waste time fucking around when the raiders could be doing good knows what to Louis, Aasim and Omar. However, this was AJ asking. She could simply drop him off and interrogated Abel herself. It wasn’t a pretty sight for a kid anyway. 

But her decision was made for her when Tenn noticed them from across the courtyard. “AJ!” He smiled, catching the attention of the six year old. “Come here!”

AJ immediately ran over to his friend, beaming with energy. Clem sighed, but smiled to herself. It was probably for the best, torturing someone isn’t really something she would like to call family bonding.

So she walked over to the table. Tenn grinned when she entered the table. Violet notice her and gave her a shy smile and a head nod. Clem could feel her heartbeat go faster as she did the same. Clem sighed to herself, she was a mess.

“Hey AJ,” Tenn smiled. “What were you doing?”

AJ frowned. “Mourning,” he said quietly, drawing circles on the palm of his hands.

Tenn frowned along with him. “I’m sorry AJ.” Quietly setting down his pencil, almost out of respect. “I’m half the reason it’s like this now.”

“It’s ok Tenn, it’s not your fault,” AJ sympathized. “It’s Lilly’s. She’s a murderer.”

“And that’s putting it lightly,” Violet said darkly.

AJ turned to Violet, obviously having something in mind. “Violet?” AJ said.

“Hmm?” She responded with vague interest. 

“Can you…” The words sat on his tongue as he tried to say them. “...kiss Clem and hold her hand more often? Because Clem says it makes her happy and I like it when she’s happy.”

Clementine wanted to explode. Never had she felt so embarrassed her whole entire life. Of course she just had to tell AJ about her and Violet, didn’t she? Tenn looked at Violet, laughing a little bit when he sees her blushing face. Violet cleared her throat, trying to calm herself down.

“Of… of course AJ,” Violet said sheepishly, making eye contact with Clem. “Only if she wants me too.”

Clem felt her chest tighten as she smiled back. “Yeah,” She said. “I would like that.”

Tenn turned back to his drawing. Kindly offering pencils and paper to AJ. “Wanna draw with me?” He asked, holding a pencil out.

AJ turned to Clementine, pleading with his eyes. “Can I Clem?” 

Clem made her decision a long time ago. AJ needs to feel like a six year old, even if it’s just  
for a few seconds. He needs to be human. So Clementine give him a small smile and nodded. 

“Of course AJ,” She cooed. “I’ll go interrogate Abel, I have a few questions he has the answers to.”

“—I’ll come with you,” Violet said, a bit too quickly. “To make sure that everything’s ok you know?”

Clem stuffed her hands in her pockets and smiled. “Thanks Vi, I’m going to need it.”

“Let’s fucking burn this sucker.”

———

The two of them walked in the admin hall, going straight through the piano room. There was a door hidden in the back, which was where they kept Abel. It was pretty secure, there was no chances for him escaping. Unless by some miracle his arm grew back and his leg was healed. If only he would cooperate...

Clementine’s heart ached as they walked past the piano. Louis told her he had a new piece to show her, and now she’ll never get to hear it. If only she was faster and stronger, she could’ve saved the both of them. But she’s weak, she always has been. Clementine clenched her fist tightly, but she can fix this, she has too.

Clem didn’t notice she had stopped at the piano until Violet came up beside her. “Clem?” She asked in a quiet voice.

Clementine shook herself and looked at Violet, rubbing the back of her neck. “I um, let’s just go yeah?” 

But before Clementine could leave, Violet grabbed her hand. Clem spun around in shock at the sudden contact. Violet sighed, blushing deeply looking into her eyes.

“Wait,” She said cautiously. “I want to talk about something.”

Clementine raised her eyebrows. “What— What is it?”

“I uh,” she started. “Minerva was someone that was really important to me but I don’t want you think that, you’re not important too.”

She crossed her arms, staring at the ground, grimacing. “I like you Clem, I really do. And yes I want to find Minnie but,” Violet stopped to looked her straight in the eyes. 

“I want to be with you.”

Clementine felt her mouth dry at that statement, blushing deeply as it all translated in her head. Nothing she could say felt right at this moment. What was she supposed to say? Hey it’s ok that’s cool, let’s go torture a man?

“I,” Clem froze. Her life prepared her for killing walkers and mad men, but never this. She needed to think of something romantic fast. 

“You're nice,” she blurted out. Clementine wanted to kick herself in the face. ‘You’re nice?’ What the hell was that?! Of course her stupid brain would think of something like that now, when earlier she was acting like casa-freaking-nova with compliments and kisses everywhere.

“I-I um thanks,” Violet brushed a strand of hair to the side. “Not the response I was expecting but, ok.”

“I mean,” Clem said, trying to save herself. “I’m terribly bad at relationships and I’m trying my hardest to be a good girlfriend. So I’m not good at saying or, uh, doing things but—“

“—I want to be with you too.”

Violet met her eyes. Clementine gulped, but she looked straight at her never lowering her gaze. “...Girlfriend?” Violet asked with such uncertainty.

“Uh yeah,” Clementine said. “If you’re ok with that? Obviously.”

“...yeah,” Violet muttered. “Yeah! That’s… I would really like that.”

The two of them stared at each other with such adoration in their eyes. Clem leaned in and pressed a quick peck on her lips. Vi was surprised at first but she was ultimately glad it happened.

Clementine turned back to the piano and felt a pang of pain in her heart. “I hate to ruin a moment but,” She let out a sighed and turned to the door in the back. “We have work to do.”

Violet’s eyes darken as her smile transformed into a deep scowl. “Yeah, this fucker better speak if he knows what’s good for him.”

So they made their way to the back of the room. they stopped slightly at the doorway, as if waiting for the door to open itself. Clementine took a deep breath and looked at Violet, waiting for her cue. She nodded in mutual understanding. It was gonna get ugly, what happens in there might bring out a terrible part of themselves. 

But they had to do it, for Louis and Omar and Aasim. For Minnie and Sophie.

So with one big breath, Clementine opened the door. She felt her anger start to course through her veins as she made eye contact with Abel, who was wearing a shit eating grin despite all of this. She could feel it pooling inside herself he stared at her with such mirth in his eyes.

“So you finally come to check on me? I’m flattered.” He spat at her shoe, Clementine avoided it in disgust. 

But Clementine calmed herself. “Look I’m gonna make this easy for the both of us.” Clementine crouched down to his eye level. “Tell us where Delta is and we’ll let you go.”

“You think I’ll just give it to you like that?!” Abel laughed. “Like hell I would give it to you cunts.“

Clem looked at Violet, spotting her hands being balled up into fists. Clem placed a hand on her shoulder, hoping in vain it will calm her down. Surprisingly, it did, as Violet crossed her arms staring at him in disgust. Clementine turned back to Abel and opened her mouth.

“Abel,” She started. “Gonna give you one more chance. Where’s Delta?”

Abel glanced to Violet behind her. He grinned as he laid eyes on her. “You guys happen to know a girl named Minerva? She used to live here too. Said she had a girlfriend, I would’ve asked her more about if she wasn’t screaming it that whole entire time.”

“Screaming?” Violet said under her breath. “What the fuck does that mean?”

Abel let out a wicked laugh as she had realized what he meant by screaming. Violet shook her head, no it can’t be. He couldn’t have…? No, did he? Violet’s eyes start to tear up as she stared at the vilest man she had ever met. Her hands were back in fists. She felt no remorse for him. 

Never had she wanted to kill someone so much.

“But she really is pretty,” He stopped to think about her. “You got lucky with that one—“

Abel was cut short when Violet punched him across the face. “Shut the FUCK UP!!” Violet screamed as tears ran down her face. “SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW!!”

Violet lifted him by the collar of his shirt. Anger boiling in her eyes as she tighten her grip. “You will die in this fucking room, you will fucking sit here, rot and suffer or you can be fucking useful and tells us where you’re child snatching shit hole is!!”

Violet threw him on the ground, Abel cowering back. There was fear in his eyes as he looked straight through the fire in her eyes. She wanted him to suffer, she wanted him to pay for all the pain he caused. For taking all her friends away, for taking Minnie away. Violet was so deep in her anger that she didn’t even realize she was holding her cleaver in her hand.

With one strike she stabbed Abel’s only arm. He screamed in pain as she dug deeper and deeper into his arm. Violet never broke eye contact as she did so, even tapping the cleaver in lightly just to watch Abel squirm. 

“Ready to talk now?” Violet as in the most menacing voice she could ever muster. 

“Fuck! Fuck you—“ Abel screamed as Violet digged the cleaver into his skin.

“Did you ever get stabbed before?” Violet made eye contact as she dig it deeper. “It’s painful, like really painful. The shape of the knife digging into your skin and inside your body. It’s fucking horrid. But you know what even more painful?”

Violet pulled the cleaver back a little bit, causing Abel to scream again. “Pulling it out,” She said darkly. “But you have to pull the knife out or else it’ll get infected and grow worse or whatever, but fuck does it hurt. It’s like getting stabbed twice, and if you can’t find help fast enough, you’ll bleed to death. Which is even more terrible. It’s slow and painful and the worse.”

“Ever bled to death, Abel?” Violet stood up, blood on both of her hands. But that didn’t matter, she didn’t care. “That’s what will happen to you. So fucking start talking.”

Abel was whimpering at the pain in his arm. “Fuck…,” he said. “All of you are fucking psychotic!”

Violet responded by stepping on to the cleaver. Abel screamed louder as Violet kept burying it deeper. “I could do this all day,” Violet muttered.

She finally felt a little bit of mercy and stepped off of the cleaver, Abel let out small and jagged breaths. “...It’s across the river.”

“What was that?” Clementine perked up, witnessing the whole ordeal. 

“Across the river and straight from there,” Abel looked up in tears. “Once you see the big giant tree with the Delta symbol on it, make a left, it will lead you to the entrance.”

“What’s the Delta symbol?” Clementine asked. 

He glanced on the patch on his shoulder. It was a pale blue that resembled an eagle. It’s on my jacket,” He replied weakly. “Please let me fucking go…”

Clem cupped her hand over her mouth in shock. “Holy shit,” Clem said as she looked at Violet. “Oh my god, we found it.”

Violet and Clementine shared a smile. They a chance, they had a fighting chance to win against Lilly and all of the raiders who wronged them. This was it, the final stand.

“Get this thing off of me!” Abel screamed. 

Violet turned to him, staring right to his core. She grabbed the knife, and slowly began taking in out. He screamed and screamed until the whole cleaver was off his bones. 

“Fuck!” He screamed. “Shit! That fucking hurts!!”

Violet examined the cleaver in her hands. “See?” She whispered. 

“I told you so.”


End file.
